i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
