Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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