I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
