You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
