my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
