I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
that is very illegal...i love you.
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