Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
