Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
