I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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