people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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