how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I'm really busy with my period
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