they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize