Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize