What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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