i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
