All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize