I wish you could order shots online.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
