Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
