are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize