Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
