It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
