I heard we made out
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
should my penis look like a turkey
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
