you didnt know i had herpes?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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