I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
