dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
