Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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