Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
