what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
