We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize