you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
