Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
