he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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