And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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