I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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