I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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