do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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