just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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