Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
