We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
