Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize