Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
