eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
