Do vagina's smell?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
