life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
