I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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