I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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