i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So squirting runs in the family.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
