Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
