I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
