Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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