he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
