you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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