So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
