i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
