i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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