Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
