great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just found a bag of teeth...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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