i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
