You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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