I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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